One of the experiences we treasure most involves our minds being changed on an issue. If we’re wrong about something, we’d prefer to be nudged in a less wrong direction.
We did NOT expect to have one of these experiences when clicking through to learn about a truly modern meet-cute: When Romy Holland met her future husband—and the father of her now-young child—at Aella’s famous birthday gangbang, which she both helped to organize and supported as a fluffer.
Anyway, you’ll see for yourself in today’s episode of Based Camp. Happy Monday! Make sure you read Romy’s full essay—the one that ultimately changed our views on misoprostol, which we had previously seen as pretty innocuous; she’s an eloquent and moving writer.
Show Notes
One of the fluffers at Aella’s birthday gangbangs paired up and ultimately had a child with one of the guests/participants
Crazier than that, this young woman radicalized me on early-term abortion!
The Gist: Romy Holland, a friend of Aella’s, recently went on Slate’s podcast, Death, Sex & Money, to talk about her experience meeting a guy at Aella’s birthday gang bang and eventually falling in love with him. This story was originally covered in the San Francisco Standard. In her
What Happened
Romy helped organize the famous 42-man gangbang birthday party in 2024
She also acted as a fluffer at this event
In this capacity, she met a programmer she had previously noticed online
They subsequently began dating, had a kid together, and are now engage and—for the time being at least—monogamous
Underrated: Romy blackpilled me on the abortion pill
An underrated element of Romy’s narrative arc thus far is her experience with abortion—something she articulated so beautifully and powerfully that it has totally radicalized me on misoprostol.
Her one substack article (as of June 2026), titled What Nobody Told Me About Abortion, describes her harrowing experience attempting an abortion.
She describes blithe comfort in the face of lies told to us
“On the sort of afternoon full of ripe summer fruit, my new boyfriend and I—still flush with sweat and limerence after some midday sex—stared at an ovulation test strip and realized we’d misread an earlier test.
“Uh oh,” I said, lightly amused as a thousand rom com moments flashed through my mind. Cue the clueless horror movie protagonist who fails to notice the axe murderer behind the bedroom door, mistaken about the genre of the story unfolding.
We listened to music and I swiveled back and forth in an office chair while narrating ChatGPT’s damning answers to my questions about fertile windows and test strip line darkness. My boyfriend kissed me on the cheek each time he walked past. We riffed about games we could play at our abortion party.
Our decision calculus was numerical, emotions an afterthought. There is a 1 in 4 chance of conception each month, so deciding not to take Plan B would result in a 25% risk of needing an abortion. Plan B costs $50 and an abortion costs $500, but with only a 25% chance of conception the expected value of that option is $125. Plan B and early stage abortion seemed physically pretty similar—nothing to consider there.
“If you get pregnant, we’d both know we’re fertile,” my boyfriend pointed out.
“True, why would anyone pay for fertility testing with such a thrilling alternative available?” I quipped back.
In the end, my sense that failing to take Plan B seemed plainly stupid led us to swing by CVS on our way to an under-the-sea-themed party in San Francisco. I was wearing a black and gold ballgown, he, a shimmery jacket that made him look like an undiscovered mer-creature dredged up into the fluorescently lit family planning aisle. Later at the party, I recounted our ill-fated afternoon with punchlines as I pried open the clamshell package and unceremoniously swallowed the Plan B in my friends’ cozy kitchen.”
Then she describes how it goes south
She got a positive pregnancy test nine days later
She was fully determined to not see it
“Ignoring the mounting hum of my instinctual self, I walked across Berkeley on a chilly August evening to pick up abortion pills from the sort of friend who people think of when they say they know a guy.”
“Nobody talks about the hell that is misoprostol, the abortion pill. I suspect that, in its politicization, no one wants to mention that the drug in question is a sledgehammer—on its quest to destroy the fetus, it also obliterates the mother. On Thursday afternoon I unceremoniously took the first of three doses: four little white pills shoved into my vagina as far up as I could wedge them. Tiny bombs placed quietly beside the cradle where my unsuspecting baby slept.
I waited, fever rising, for the bleeding that should have started after an hour or two. The second dose came and went. By dose three I could barely move. I took the stairs one at a time, weakly gripping the railing, my joints aching with each step, the inside of my mouth painfully raw. Curled in bed, I whispered for more and more blankets, shivering and only dimly aware of my boyfriend there beside me searching the internet for answers about my racing heart and shallow, rapid breathing.
In the morning I felt drained, but the fever and pain were gone. The large maxi pad, which the internet warned I may soak through as often as once per hour, was entirely dry.”
She goes on to observe that “Misoprostol as an abortion protocol is 85% effective. As the 24 hour time point neared and I felt not even the slightest cramping, it became clear that I was among the unlucky 15% of women for whom a second attempt would be necessary.”
“In taking the first dose of pills, I’d started down an inescapable path and had no choice but to march to its end. As a friend would later say, the correct number of abortions is either zero or as many as it takes.”
She ultimately had to do four rounds
She went to Planned Parenthood in San Francisco
“Desperation welled inside of me. I wanted to grip her bony shoulders, to look her in the eye and ask her what she would have me do with this broken beautiful thing inside of me that had survived six doses of poison and was now fated to die.”
“More abortion pills, more waiting, more shivering in a ball of feverish torment. Still no blood.”
“My memories of the surgical D&C procedure four days later come to me in fragments that feel sharp in my chest. I remember a cold wand pushed into me searching for a smudge of evidence of my baby. And then a room with a chair and an iPad video that soothingly warned of hysterectomy risk. Finally, a room that smelled of chemicals where I sat on crisp paper and stared at a tray strewn with ominous medical instruments. Panic.”
…
“Through this, I did not move. Tears gathered in my eyes at the inevitability of the situation, at my overwhelming helplessness. I presented my arm to the pretty young nurse who would administer the fentanyl and sedatives. I lay down and spread my legs for the kind practitioner there to vacuum out my stubborn baby. What’s a mother to do in a moment like this, but carry her child gently to the executioner’s arms?”
Romy Meets Other People Who Were Scarred
“I recently had coffee with a friend who became very still when I mentioned my abortion. Tears sprang to her eyes as she told me that she’d once had an abortion too, and although it was seven years ago and although she never wanted the baby, never even wanted to be a mother, it still makes her cry every time she remembers it. She’d taken the abortion pills and two days later, in a grungy dive bar bathroom with music thrumming through the door, she’d found her clot of a baby in her bloody pad.
“I knew I had to eat it,” she told me. And then, as though suddenly realizing that this might sound absurd, she tried to explain. “I mean, I couldn’t just leave it in that dirty bathroom, it was my baby. What was I going to do, throw it in the trash?
I stopped her, shaking my head “no, no, it makes perfect sense to me. It really does, of course you had to eat it, it was your baby.” The maternal logic of this was unassailable. Anyone who has been a mother for any stretch of time would not question such a primordial urge. The animal mother knows what to do, and your judgements are not what carried evolution billions of years to this moment.
“So what did you do?” I asked her.
“I ate it.” She said it wide eyed.””
Romy Experiences the Mental Fallout
“I was not permitted to eat my baby, nor bring it home in a little vial to bury it, or put it on the mantel, or inspect it under a microscope for a tail. Perhaps if I had been, the cataclysmic crash of hormones that awaited me would have taken a gentler shape.
Instead, in the days that followed, I began to experience borderline psychotic episodes.
These hours-long periods would begin with a vague sense of unease and build until the world around me became twisted and surreal, like a haunted house. Sometimes, anger at my boyfriend would inexplicably swell inside of me, sharp and alienating, distancing me from the one person who might understand my pain. Often, I was consumed with an urgent need to go find my missing baby.
My thoughts would enter obsessive, frenzied spirals about this desire, running through the sequence of events that had led to my baby’s departure from my womb where it clearly belonged. My memories of the D&C churned with an ominous bent. The kindness of the nurses suddenly felt coercive, like they had conspired to place me under a spell so that they could use strange and powerful devices to remove a precious, integral part of me.”
She tried to deal with it by stapling the test to the temple at Burning Man
“Before I was a mother, I was a woman who belonged entirely to herself. I finally understood then that my baby was gone, and that I was once again alone.”
“It turns out that while full-blown postpartum psychosis is rare, subclinical psychotic thoughts are common, affecting 15-30% of women who give birth, and, less commonly, following abortion and miscarriage. Critically, people experiencing these thoughts retain insight into the fact that their thoughts are distorted, though such knowledge does not immunize them to suffering.”
“It’s strange to me that, given the prevalence of postpartum depression and abortion, I haven’t heard anyone talk openly about either. My concept of abortion was shaped instead through divisive political narratives, which leave me feeling trapped between absolutes in how I am allowed to talk about it, forced to hedge every statement.”
The grief sticks with her
“My grief has settled into a shape small enough to carry around the world. It goes out with me to dinner, and seems to like it when we take evening walks around the neighborhood. Sometimes, when I know it won’t cause too much trouble, I take it out and marvel at it. It’s heavier than it looks, the weight of it on my chest enough to knock the breath out of me if I’m not prepared. Many nights, my grief unfurls and wraps its long tendrils around me. I wake sweating and tangled in my blankets, planets still bright in the sky. Soon enough, it will learn to sleep through the night.”
Romy’s story adds weight to our techno-puritan sense that the damage lies at the action-based inflection point, not some definition of life
“I’ve never quite understood regret. Should the butterfly regret a flap of its wings upon learning of the resulting tornado? Still, as the shadow of loss looms over my days, I have started to think I probably would have been happier in this alternate timeline in which my grief would be balanced by purpose. Whether this will feel true five years from now is harder to say—perhaps one should wait to see what is built from the tornado’s wreckage before declaring regret. I find myself trying to calculate this likelihood, but quickly stop. I know now that some arithmetic belongs to older gods than reason.”
Episode Transcript
Malcolm Collins: [00:00:00] m- my wife was actually radicalized by somebody who met their husband, who they ended up having a child with, at a gang bang against early stage abortion. Yep. , , and not slightly radicalized. I got radicalized after hearing this story.
Traumatized and
radicalized. And
this has a lot of crying. It’s emotionally a, more of a rollercoaster than you likely think, so buckle in, guys
Speaker 17: America, get your uteruses tarp.
Speaker 19: I’m a baby killer. Baby killer makes me horny.
Speaker 18: Get that fetus, kill that fetus.
Speaker 19: Down face, bitches in my cross face. No, I’ma have abortions always.
Would you like to know more?
Malcolm Collins: Hello, Malcolm. I’m excited to be speaking with you today because romance isn’t dead. It turns out, I didn’t know this, but one of the fluffers at Aella’s birthday gang bang has gone on to date one of the gentlemen attending and [00:01:00] participating in the party. And they have a kid together now, and they’re getting married, and, you know, it’s so wholesome.
It’s wonderful.
But- That wholesome and wonderful... No, I love all the other conservatives are talking about there’s this, like, slutty woman who’s using her gang bangs t- to, like, “Oh, I’m gonna have a gang bang for, like, my,” what was it? Like, her kid’s birth or, like, a birth shower or try to get pregnant at a gang bang.
You, you’ve, you’ve seen this, right? Oh,
no, no, no. You’re, you’re referring ab- to Bonnie Blue, her golden baby shower. Yes, golden
baby sho- oh, God.
Speaker 5: Definitely pregnant That is a baby Turn my baby shower into a golden shower. Pregnancy is a big for a lot of people, so I’m gonna make the most of it. Biggest live stream of a birth
Malcolm Collins: This is so gross. Yeah, that’s- No, Bonnie, no.
You, we do not... Bonnie Blue and Aella and her circle, completely different. Like, I can’t even- Yeah, they, they, they are completely- Like, I think people think-
blindedly ... and, and respect for Bonnie Blue and what she does. Like, she is her own extreme sports kind of person. But [00:02:00] the, the Aella cinematic universe is one of, and I think it’s very misunderstood, it, it is one of the most a circle of the most intelligent, articulate educated, informed, and intellectually curious people in the world.
They put 99.9% of post-graduate university students to shame. I would say 95% of professors to complete shame. These are some of the most intellectual people that I’ve ever encountered. They have amazing writing. We’ll get into some of that. But what I love most about this, though and this is where the twist comes, actually, Malcolm, is- Ooh
not only am I, like, this is really sweet, right? We’ve gone from, like, gang bang to marriage, and it, it, there’s something to be said there about kind of the way that life goes and also that, you know, maybe we, we shouldn’t fully judge debauched lifestyles of a little bit of, a bit of fun and hedonism. And also that it’s a kind of a really common life [00:03:00] progression, and another reason why many male base campers should not be discounting progressive women and writing them off, which we see happening all the time.
But-
Oh yeah, people- Romy ... people are like, “Oh, you shouldn’t date someone to change them,” or whatever. People were so mad at my Leaflet video when I was like no, that’s, like, what... I’m just saying realistically, that is your pool of women these days.” Here’s what’s
really, really d- crazy though, is Romy Holland, this woman who went on to get married, you know, gang bang organizer Bay Area intelligent sex positive woman, has completely radicalized me on misoprostol and early term abortion.
Like, I’m complete, like, sea change for me against it. I, I used to be like, hey, basically until you get signs of, like, you know, a, a, a, a human life that is capable of experiencing pain, you know, like around, like week 12 you don’t really have, like, a, the beginnings of a brain, [00:04:00] I guess I’m okay with abortion.
You know, and especially, you know, just taking misoprostol if you need to ‘cause you’re super, super not ready. I have changed my view on this, and it, it wasn’t, it wasn’t our Catholic friends, it wasn’t our, our friends at the Heritage Foundation, it wasn’t anyone else. You got
ri- radicalized on abortion by a gang bang woman.
By, by yeah. By a, by a slapper at a gang bang. Well, she did, right? I mean, I was just
looking her up and the first thing that comes up with her is a bunch of magazine articles saying, “This heartbreaking what nobody told me about abortion essay is going viral.” It’s... I’m gonna read
some quotes from it.
We’re gonna start with, though, the, the romance, ‘ cause romance is dead. I love it so much. I love the story. So for those of you not familiar, who’ve somehow been living under a rock or w- I don’t know, were in a coma in 2024 Aella, who is a, a sex researcher, a friend- She’s done
episodes with us before.
She’s awesome ... I consider her one of my close friends. Yeah. Yeah. I- Other than Leaflet, [00:05:00] she’s one of the only people I’ve ever, like, when I talk to them I felt like an immediate and deep connection. She’s a great person.
Yeah, just incredible. Incredible person. She had a birthday party, and she was like, “You know what?
I would love to have a gang bang for my birthday party.” So some of her close friends so kindly and generously, including Romy Holland, Romy helped her organize it. And this, this was a very complicated thing. They decided ultimately on, on a, a, a, a very good number, 42 men. You know, it’s perfect sort of nerd reference gang bang number.
You know- 42
men? Oh my God,
Jerome ... Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy right there. I know, 42 men. We’re a
conservative
podcast, by the way, right? We are considered radical conservatives. That’s why I have to brief people on this, okay? Just in case they don’t know about the birthday gang bang. So- No, I’m just...
I, well, we have to admit that, like, we have friends who are whores. Like we have to admit that. Like, we’re... Gosh, if only, I think we gotta, we gotta be more like Jesus and just never talk to whores, right? Like, that’s clearly the right answer [00:06:00] here, right? Ai,
Simone Collins: yi, yi.
Malcolm Collins: No, I mean, winning people’s hearts requires not reflexively condemning them if they are attempting...
Because I think you see with this person, and in her abortion essay and stuff like this, th- this is not a community that’s hearts are truly poisoned. They just need the truth shown to them in the, in, in the, in the right way, and then it shocks them out of it, and that’s what happened with this individual.
But continue.
I mean, I don’t know. I just feel like it’s an, I, I went from being an ardent progressive, though not exactly sex positive, to just being, you know, now a conserv- Like, it’s a very natural and common progression. But anyway, so, Romy helped organize this, and th- there was a lot of vetting in this.
I, I think I remember looking through the survey for people applying. You know, they, they’re obviously going through the kinks of these people. In an interview with, on Slate’s podcast, Death, Sex, and Money Romy talks about the The, the kind of the unique [00:07:00] kink criteria they would go for. Like, they didn’t want men who needed, like, a lot of, like, reinforcement and like, “Oh,” like, “you’re doing so great.”
Well, because, you know, it’s a gang bang. It’s supposed to be, like, consensual non-consent, right? So, like, they can’t have men who are super needy who need Aella to, like, praise them, ‘cause that’s not the look of this event. So they had to, you know, vet for that. They need to vet for a bunch of other things.
Obviously, you know, if you’re a friend or something, like, you know, you’re probably in. So there was a lot of vetting involved. And then of course on the actual day of the party, you had to work through all the logistics. You know, there’s queuing, and you wanna have everyone, you know, sufficiently hard for the moment of, of, of, of bang.
And so then y- there’s a big bowl of Viagra at the door, but then there’s also the need for arousal, and that, that is where the fluffy... Sorry, where the fluffers come in, including Romy who very generously offered to participate in a very involved way in the fluffing process preparing men to deliver their birthday present to Aella.
I- if you haven’t explored [00:08:00] the, the lore around the gang bang, you definitely should. There was a, a very viral Sankey diagram that Aella had created, because, again, she is a very intellectual, fun, playful person. I should not have been
allowed at the gang bang. Do you remember why?
Oh, yeah, because you were n- y- something about Eliezer Yudkowsky.
Some- Yeah, yeah. So, so no accelerationists. No AI acceleration people were allowed. That’s right. Yes. It was
no... Yes, I remember. It was only AI doomers. That’s like something I was like, oh yeah, you definitely wouldn’t be allowed. So Aella made this, this chart that sort of showed what happened to the various participants.
So, she had the survey. You know, the application she released had 1,604 applicants. 828 failed the auto filter, 3 twen- 328 failed the manual filter, 776 passed the auto filter, 448 passed the manual fic- filter. They contacted 251 men, 143 didn’t respond, 25 are friends, 87 of those got invited. And also 83 did an interview.
Like it went, it went, it went, it went, and then 42 showed up, so they got 42. Only [00:09:00] 37 penetrated Aella. Only 17 came inside Aella. They were wearing condoms. Only well, five came inside a fluffer. Who knows if Romy was one of them. And then 15 didn’t come. So, the the, this is the thing was- Going to an
orgy and not coming?
Well, that, that sounds like- Well,
but Malcolm, this is a 42-person gang bang. S- it’s like the waiting- Although to be honest, I think if I went to an orgy- Like, it’s like, it’s like the being at the DMV, right? Like, you’re queuing, you’re waiting. Like, it’s awkward. There’s other people there. You know a lot of them, like, ‘cause a bunch of them were Aella’s friends.
Like, these are all... I mean, I guess those people are more accustomed maybe to more group-ish sex environments. But anyway, it was in this milieu, it was in this mix at this lovely party that a- that actually wasn’t particularly fun for Aella or Romy, per their reports that Romy locked eyes with a man that she was fluffing.
She’d known him online a little bit, you know, had seen him post. This is
what I don’t understand.
Yeah.[00:10:00]
If it’s not fun, okay? And presumably she’s done gang bangs before. Well, you don’t
know it. No, I don’t think she had. That’s the thing, is I don’t think she had. And so there’s this, like, well... ‘Cause think, think about to, to safely do a gang bang, if you’re actually, like, vetting it carefully and, and doing it right.
And, and keep in mind, like, again, the, this, this type of sex positive person in the Bay Area, in the ALA cinematic universe doesn’t just do, like, consensual non- Like, “Oh, let’s just mess around. Like, everyone, like, jump in the group.” No, no, no. At her consensual non-consent parties, you’re wearing a lanyard that says what you can do to someone and what you can’t do.
There are safe words. There are safety talks. Like, this stuff, people are vetted. There, there’s the, the stuff, the, the places, the careful location selection. These are incredibly thoughtful events. So no, I don’t think she had done one before. From my understanding, she hadn’t. And so sh- like, she wanted to try.
Like, she’s an, she’s a, she’s, she believes in experimentation. And so I, I don’t think she [00:11:00] knew that she wasn’t gonna find it particularly enjoyable.
I think that I should add this to our sins episode. Trying something only to try something. Well, but she might have liked it, and she- Well, you don’t need to know everything in the world you might like.
Even if it turned out I loved gang bangs, that is a fact I would not want to know about myself.
Well, and I guess, like, are, like, yeah. D- do you like- private jet flights. I guess that’s, that’s one of the bigger issues in my view. Like, I could love flying on a private jet, but can I afford to fly on a private jet?
Like, absolutely not. So they had such- Also, I don’t think I would ...
Simone Collins: enough to know. ‘
Malcolm Collins: Cause I once had to drop a bunch of people off on a private jet. I didn’t get to go on but I, I had to drop people off. So freaking loud. Like you- Wait, we never took you on our private
jet?
No. Oh. That was- That’s terrible
I was in the post private jet days when I entered your
family. Yeah, we, I guess they- I didn’t get to- ... they stopped using it as much because it’s inconvenient. But yeah private jets suck . [00:12:00] Yeah. They, they- they are so much
worse ... loud. It’s so loud on the tarmac. And like the airports for the private jets were like- It’s not just that it’s loud
like a bus sta- There’s this like- Like a Greyhound bus station. I’m like, “What is this?” If you’re talking about- “This is not what I
expected.” ... standard private jets, like Lear jets and stuff like that, right? They are significantly smaller than you would expect on the inside, especially for like the two rows.
Mm-hmm. So like your entire flight- Oh, you even see it.
Like when the, when the Kardashians fly on their private jet, like it’s a very nicely appointed private jet, but it’s small. It’s like, it’s... I mean, you’re- Yeah, the
entire flight your head is like cocked to the side- ... because it’s like against the side of the plane.
Well, th- okay, their
private jets are bigger than that. And okay, I did see the interior of, of wom- one of the lady’s private jets as I was dropping everyone off and, and hers was very nice, but she was also very wealthy. So but like it’s just, I don’t know, it just seemed uncomfortable and meh. But anyway, my point here though is what if Aella just...
I think it’d be worse if Aella really enjoyed the gang bang because then like how is she... Like oh great, like now I’m never gonna have fun again unless I, [00:13:00] I, I, I put out a 1,000 person survey and have like 10 of my friends work carefully around the clock to vet all these people and interview them and organize them.
And you know, of course, throughout the entire process, ‘cause she didn’t wanna put the, the onus on the participants to kind of just both like consensually, non-consensually penetrate her. She’d have two people with her the whole time like kind of watching her watching the men, make sure like nothing was going wrong, making sure that she was fully lubricated, handing the men the Sharpie, ‘cause I think, remember they had like a Sharpie there doing ticks on her leg to be like, “Number this, number that.”
I think they even, they did all these like really thoughtful things too. I think maybe there was a virgin there that one day and they’re like saying like they did a thing for him or like I can’t remember. But like this was incredibly thoughtfully executed. It’s not sustainable. So that’s my thing is maybe don’t try things if, if you can’t afford to like do them regularly if it’s trying this to see if you like it kind of thing.
Like you know- Do I like luxury cars? Like, I bet I do, but I can’t afford one, so let’s not get into that. You’re a weirdo. Anyway so they, [00:14:00] she, you know, encounters this man. Like, she had seen him posting around online, but I think this is also a very common illustration of how people meet now. This is a very techno-feudal kind of meet cute where, like, you see someone posting online, they’re in your general online sort of parasocial circles, and then at some special event, at some community-based gathering, which this very much was, right?
A mixture of sort of the online universe of a person and their offline friends coming together for a special event. You meet someone in that universe. You have some, some, some in-person chemistry, which you can’t necessarily find online. You know, you can’t gauge that, and it takes off from there. So, you know, it wasn’t immediate.
It wasn’t like, you know, he asked her out mid-penetration. Because I d- she, she was also, I think, doing, like, full penetrative fluffing not like, like hand job or blowjob fluffing, from my understanding. And anyway, they, they went later on [00:15:00] a date. And then they- Yeah ... they became like more like a steady boyfriend and girlfriend.
And then they had a kid together, and now not only are they engaged to be married soon but they’re also, for the time being at least, monogamous. And here you see this classic arc. The gang banging to monogamy trend. Well, no, the thing is, like, I think people don’t realize how common this is. Like, I, I am the product of of bro- a broken polyamorous marriage.
I guess it’s just like it wasn’t really well matched. And then my mom was one of, like a secondary for my dad. But then eventually she was like, “Look, I- this isn’t for me. Like, I wanna have a kid someday. Either I’m moving to Colorado or, like, maybe you decide that you wanna be monogamous with me. And my dad decided, at actually pretty significant social cost, like per everything that, you know, the disruption that that caused to become monogamous with my mother, and I’m a result of that.[00:16:00]
But, like, even back in the ‘80s, this was happening in the Bay Area. So this is a surprisingly trad kind of arc. And I’m really happy for Romie. I’m really happy for her partner. I’m really happy for their kid. But what I did not expect from this adorable and, in my opinion, very wholesome story, was that she would radicalize me against misoprostol, which I thought was like...
Now, you know my stance has been very consistent, that, like, up until 12 weeks, I don’t care. Like, whatever, you know, y- if you wanna take a pill to end a pregnancy early, like, this is not yet a,
a, a sentient, like, conscious- So, so for people who understand why we take this position, if you’re confused by this, I d- I, I do not think that you can h- when there’s no neural tissue, like, I don’t think I lost part of my soul by losing my finger or something like that, right?
Yeah. When there’s no neural tissue, there is nothing that can produce the effect that we in our society call a soul.
Yeah ... it, it- And we, we think it’s equally sinful as [00:17:00] techno-puritans to, like, choose not to have a kid when you could. It doesn’t matter if that’s before you have sex or after you have sex or after conception.
It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s a sin. Yeah, yeah, it’s not
that we don’t think that it’s bad to abort a fetus that has no neural tissue yet. Mm-hmm. But we think it’s at the same level of evil as convincing somebody not to get IVF that was going to do IVF. Yeah. Because you have prevented a child that was going to exist from existing, and all child on that spectrum, whenever somebody goes like, “I could have made the child”- And- That’s why we took that position, but just- And then there’s,
there’s, yeah, the sort of additional, like, layer on top of that for me of like, okay, well, when are you, when are you sort of committing murder and causing, like, suffering to a thing?
And, you know, yeah, after week 12, you are causing suffering to a thing. Like, huh. So like, that, that just adds this extra, like, visceral... But now, now I’m really questioning this, and I wanna give you some, some quotes from Romie’s [00:18:00] experience going through this because I think she, this is what, this is what radicalized me, and I think it shows some lies that are told to progressives especially, but I think just to main screen, mainstream participants in the urban monoculture more broadly about About basically early term abortions.
I had no idea. I am kind of horrified. And I, I, it, it shows how we’ve basically been lied to, and that there is a ton of damage that no one talks about, and I feel like maybe f- people feel afraid to talk about. So I’ll just go ahead and read. But- No, let’s go
Simone Collins: into it.
Malcolm Collins: Yeah. You can also, and I, ‘cause it’s amazing writing.
Romie’s very articulate, incredibly intelligent, like beautiful, wonderful person in general. So I recommend you read the full thing. It’s titled it’s her only Substack article too What Nobody Told Me About Abortion, and it describes her harrowing experience. So basically she she had sex with her boyfriend and got [00:19:00] pregnant.
She wrote, “On the sort of afternoon a full ripe summer fruit, my new boyfriend and I, still flush with sweat and limerence after some midday sex, started an ovulation test strip and realized we’d misread an earlier test. ‘Uh-oh,’ I said, lightly amused, and 1,000 rom-com moments flashed through my mind.” Cue the clueless horror movie protagonist who fails to notice the ax murderer behind the bedroom door, mistaken about the genre of the story unfolding.
We listened to music, and I swiveled back and forth in an office chair while narrating ChatGPT’s damning answers to my questions about fertile windows and test strip line darkness. My boyfriend kissed me on the cheek each time he walked past. We riffed about games we could play at our abortion party.
Our decision calculus was numerical, emotions an afterthought. Our abortion
Simone Collins: party? This, and this goes to show, like- I think she’s showing how radically
Malcolm Collins: her mind shifted over time ... yeah, like,
Simone Collins: the, the flippant
Malcolm Collins: jokiness that, no, that like, that urban [00:20:00] monoculture San Francisco Bay Area people are raised with around the idea of abortions, and why people are so, like, pro-abortion.
It’s like, really like it goes back to that BoJack Horseman Aquafina, like, “Get that fetus, kill that fetus.”
Speaker 17: America, get your uteruses tarp.
Speaker 19: I’m a baby killer. Baby killer makes me horny.
Speaker 18: Get that fetus, kill that fetus.
Speaker 19: Down face, bitches in my cross face. No, I’ma have abortions always.
Speaker 18: And sometimes I do have doubts I hope and pray to God it don’t feed us as a song. Cause I want it to feel pain when I eject it from my own world.
, has the concept of women having choices gone too far?
Malcolm Collins: Like, the, this like- Yeah ... euphoric cultural, like, this is a sacred cow kind of attitude around abortion, and it’s euphoric, this idea that I have this choice, and like, we’re gonna exercise this choice and it’s gonna be funny and cool.
Speaker 2: Trans woman to have a successful uterus [00:21:00] transplant, ovaries and eggs included. And I want to be the first trans woman to have an abortion.
Speaker 3: Mrs. Garrison.
You can’t have an abortion.
Speaker 4: Don’t you tell me what I can and can’t do with my body! A woman has a right to choose!
Speaker 3: You can’t get pregnant.
Speaker 4: But I missed my period.
Speaker 3: You can’t have periods either.
Speaker 4: You mean, I’ll never know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside me and then scramble its brains and vacuum it out? This would mean I’m not really a woman, it’s, I’m just a, I’m just a guy with a mutilated penis!
Speaker 3: Basically, yes.
Speaker 4: Oh boy, do I feel like a jackass.
Malcolm Collins: I’ll continue reading. Our decision calculus was numerical, emotions an afterthought. There’s a one in four chance of conception each month, so deciding not to take Plan B would result in a 25% risk of needing an abortion. Plan B costs $50, and an abortion costs 500, but only with [00:22:00] a 25% chance of conception.
The expected value of that option is $125. Plan B and early stage abortion seemed physically pretty similar. Nothing to consider there. “If you get pregnant, we’d both know we’re fertile,” my boyfriend pointed out. “True. Why would anyone pl- pay for fertility testing with such thrilling alternative available?”
I quipped back. In the end, my sense that failing to take Plan B seemed plainly stupid led us to swing by CVS on our way to an under the sea themed party in San Francisco. I was wearing a black and gold ballgown. He, a shimmery jacket that made him look like an undiscovered mayor culture dredged up from the fluorescently lit family planning aisle.
Later at the party, I recounted our ill-fated afternoon with punchlines as I pried open the clamshell package and unceremoniously swallowed the Plan B in my friend’s cozy kitchen So she, you [00:23:00] know, is very, like, casual about the sex, about the you know, “I’m ju- I’ll just take Plan B,” right? You know, this is a very, like, expected experience for someone in the, like- Yeah
this culture. Then she describes how it goes south. So basically, she got a positive pregnancy test nine days later. And she, just, like, from the beginning, it was, like, obvious she would not be having a baby. Like, there, there was no question that, like, well, obviously. Like, we’re not, we’re not even gonna consider carrying this.
She, she wrote, “Ignoring the mounting calm of my instinctual self, I walked across Berkeley on a chilly August evening to pick up abortion pills from the sort of friend who people think of when they say they know a guy.” She continued a little bit later. I’m, I’m skipping through the article. You really should read the whole thing.
Yeah. “Nobody talks about the hell that is misoprostol, the abortion pill. I suspect that in its politicization, no one wants to mention that the drug in question is a sledgehammer. On its quest to destroy the fetus, it obliterates the mother as well. On Thursday afternoon, I [00:24:00] unceremoniously took the first of three doses.
Four little white pills shoved into my vagina as far up as I could wedge them. Tiny bombs placed quietly beside the cradle where my unsuspecting baby slept. I waited, fever rising, for the bleeding that should have started an hour, after an hour or two. The second dose came and went. By dose three, I could barely move.
I took the stairs one at a time, weakly gripping the railing, my joints aching with each step, the inside of my mouth painfully raw. Curled in bed, I whispered for more and more blankets, shivering and only dimly aware of my boyfriend there beside me, searching the internet for answers about my racing heart and shallow, rapid breathing.
In the morning, I felt drained, but the fever and pain were gone. The large maxi pad, which the internet warned I may soak as often as once per hour, was entirely dry.” So she goes on to observe that, quote, “Misoprostol as an abortion protocol is 85% effective. As the 24-hour time point neared [00:25:00] and I felt not even the slightest cramping, it became clear that I was among the unlucky 15% of women for whom a second attempt would be necessary.”
And she also writes, “In, in taking the first dose of pills, I’d started down an inescapable path and had no choice but to march to its end. As a friend would later say, the correct number of abortions is either zero or as many as it takes.” And this is, Malcolm, for me, like, reading about this is so scary, ‘cause one of my, I’ve never told you this, but one of my recurring, like, nightmares that I’ve had since childhood is, like, finding some innocent injured animal that’s in pain, and then attempting to kill it to put it out of its pain and, and failing every time and making it worse every time.
Like, this is one of my, like, deepest set fears. Like- It’s
funny, I have a, th- such different deep set fears than you. Yeah. W- I don’t know if I ever told you this one. One, one of my recurring nightmares, up until I met you, I haven’t had this dream since I met you. Oh. But it used to be a [00:26:00] big recurring nightmare for me was that I had accidentally killed someone and I needed to figure out what to do next.
Oh, no.
Simone Collins: And I was
Malcolm Collins: just like, “We gotta hide the body. We gotta like...”
Yeah. We have different nightmares. But like this is my worst nightmare. And of like if I had gone through this and I felt like I had only partially killed this, this fledgling life.
And then it humanizes it for you, and you’re like, “Oh, my God, this is my baby.
What was I doing? Why did I treat this so flippantly?” Yeah,
you, you’re... Yeah, just, just wait. So she, she ultimately had to do four rounds. She went to Planned Parenthood in San Francisco. She wrote, “Desperation welled inside me. I wanted to grip her...” Oh so basically also a protester confronted her and was like, you know, “Don’t kill your baby.”
About that she wrote, “Desperation welled inside of me. I wanted to grip her bony shoulders, to look her in the eye and ask her what she would have me do with this broken, beautiful thing inside me that had survived six doses of poison and now failed to die.” My [00:27:00] worst nightmare. You can tell I’m like so scared.
“More abortion pills, more waiting, more shivering in a ball of feverish torment. Still no blood.” Then she continued ‘cause she had to ultimately get a D&C. “My memories of the surgical D&C procedure four days later come to me in fragments that feel sharp in my chest. I remember a cold wand pushed inside me, searching for a smudge of evidence of, of the baby, and then a room with a chair and an iPad video that soothingly warned of hysterectomy risk.”
I didn’t, also, I didn’t know that. “Finally, a room that smelled of chemicals where I sat on a crisp paper and stared at a tray strewn with ominous medical instruments. Panic. Through this I did not move. Tears gathered in my eyes at the inevitability of the situation, my overwhelming helplessness. I presented my arm to the pretty young nurse who would administer the fentanyl and sedatives.
I laid down and spread my legs for the kind practitioner to vacuum out my stubborn baby. What’s a mother to do in a moment like this but carry her child gently to the executioner’s arms?” And then [00:28:00] she, She asked if she could, you know, like take the th- you know, the baby that they removed and, like, bury it in her backyard or something.
And they’re like, “No, we’re forced by California law to take them all to funeral homes?” I don’t know what they do with them there. That’s... I don’t get that. But anyway, she met, after this process happened, other people who like when she mentioned it to them were like, “Oh yeah, I have also had a traumatic experience with this.”
And I think this is one of those other things where the people- Because in
progressive circles you’re supposed to be euphoric about it. It’s supposed to be- Yeah, like you
can’t... It’s, yeah, it’s, it’s verboten to say that you had a bad experience with mifepristone. You can’t say it. But then she said, she wrote “I recently had coffee with a friend who became very still when I mentioned my abortion.
Tears sprang to her eyes as she told me that once she’d had an abortion too, and although it was seven years ago, and although she never wanted the baby, never even wanted to be a mother, it still makes her cry every time she remembers it. She’d taken the abortion [00:29:00] pills and two days later, in a grungy dive bar bathroom with music thrumming through the door, she’d found her clot of a baby in her bloody pad.”
Th- this is, I’m sorry, like, I guess trigger warning a while ago. Stop if so. Trigger warning a
while ago. No, but this is how you get people. No, no, no,
no, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. Well,
one way to win was the gang bang story. I know. Then you traumatize them about getting an abortion. Then, but I cry if I
talk about abortions.
What on earth? But anyway, this radi- this radicalized me. Did you ever think you would be this woman crying talking about abortions to other, to try to get women to like...
I’m not trying to do this. This really radicalized me, and her writing is really good. Anyway so she, this woman just told her, you know, she found the bloody clot in this dive bar in her pad.
She says, “ ‘I knew I had to eat it,’ she told me. And then as though suddenly realizing that this might sound absurd, she tried to explain, ‘I mean, I couldn’t just leave it in that dirty bathroom. It was my baby. What was I going to do, throw it in the trash?’ I stopped her, shaking my head. ‘No, no, it makes perfect sense [00:30:00] to me.
It really does. Of course you had to eat it. It was your baby.’ The maternal logic of this was unassailable. Anyone who’s been a mother for any stretch of time would not question such a primordial urge. The animal mother knows what to do, and your judgments are not what carried evolution billions of... Oh, and your judgments are not what carried evolution billions of years to this moment.
‘So what did you do?’ I asked her. ‘I ate it,’ she said, wide-eyed.” S- and like Malcolm, this sounds so insane, but I completely understand what they’re talking about And it makes me think of like, the hamsters that go crazy and eat their babies. There’s something that, yeah, is really, like mentally unstable about pregnancy and, and I didn’t realize that messing with it in this way like this early in pregnancies could mess women up so much.
‘Cause it gets worse. B- if you can believe it. And then- Oh my God. Our audience,
Simone Collins: did we lure them in with “Hey guys”? I’m so sorry, guys.
Malcolm Collins: I’m so... “
Simone Collins: Hey guys, gang bang. Ha ha ha.”
Hey, so funny.
Malcolm Collins: So after this she, she basically [00:31:00] had a psychotic episode. She, she wrote, and again I’m skipping around, read the whole thing, “I was not permitted to eat my baby nor bring it home in a little vial to bury it or put it on the mantle or inspect it under a microscope for a tail.
Perhaps if I’d been, the cataclysmic crash of hormones that awaited me would have taken a gentler shape. Instead, in the days that followed, I began to experience borderline psychotic episodes. These hours-long periods would begin with a vague sense of unease and build-” and build until the world around me became twisted and surreal, like a haunted house.
Sometimes anger at my boyfriend would inexplicably slow- swell inside me, sharp and alienating, distancing me from the one person who might understand my pain. Often I was consumed with an urgent need to go find my missing baby. My thoughts would enter obsessive sprent- frenzied spirals about the desire, running through the sequence of events that had led to my baby’s departure from my womb, where it clearly belonged.
My memories of the [00:32:00] D&C churned with an ominous bent. The kindness of the nurses suddenly felt coercive, like they had conspired to place me under a spell so that they could use the strange and powerful devices to remove a precious, integral part of me. And then so she, she goes to Burning Man which happens m- like, on late Memorial Day weekend in, like, the beginning of September, ‘cause this is all end of summer.
Mm-hmm. And she, she basically tried to deal with this by sort of, like, through the, the Bay Area equivalent of, like, a, a grieving ceremony. At Burning Man there’s, like, the big man that they burn, but there’s also this place called the temple where you can, like... And I’ve been to Burning Man once.
I remember going to it. It’s this, like, beautiful structure, but it’s where you kind of, like, you will have I’m vaguely remembering this like traumatic things. Like, y- you’ll burn the things that, that bother you. And so she, she tries to staple the one thing she had left of this baby, which was her positive pregnancy test strip to the temple, and then it, you know, like, having it burned, like, and hopefully that, like, will get rid of her trauma.
[00:33:00] One, one thing she wrote also that stood out to me, she wrote, “Before I was a mother, I was a woman who belonged entirely to herself. I finally understood then that my baby was gone and that I was once again alone.” Oh my gosh, what? Sorry.
Can you see that this stuff messes women up? But you may not want more babies.
It’s people who have babies, the moment you get radicalized by babies, you’re just like, “I need maximum number of babies.”
No, see, I didn’t know that you could get radicalized before the baby came out ‘cause I didn’t, I didn’t know. But something really messes with women, and this, this article shows that.
It turns out that while full-blown postpartum psych- she, here I’m reading from her writing again. “It turns out that while full-blown postpartum psychosis is rare, subclinical psychotic thoughts are common, affecting 15 to 30% of women who give birth, and less commonly following abortion and miscarriage.
Critically, people experiencing these thoughts retain insight into the fact that their thoughts are distorted, though such knowledge does not [00:34:00] immunize them to suffering. It’s strange to me that given the prevalence of postpartum depression and abortion, I haven’t heard anyone talk openly about either.
My concept of abortion was shaped instead through divisive political narratives, which leave me feeling trapped between absolutes and how I’m allowed to talk about it, forced to hedge every statement.” I mean, she still supports the, the right to choose, and there’s all these complications, but she’s trying to introduce nuance to the conversation.
And, like, even to the, to the day that she wrote this article she still is dealing with the grief of this abortion. She wrote... Oh, mister. She wrote, “My grief is- I
think this is a good article to... And I’m gonna do this for our kids. Yeah. I think around the time they go through puberty, I think this article should be part- They need to read this
of sex education and having to write an essay on this. 100%. And I would introduce this, I think at around the age of, let’s say, 14. When you
have your period. No, when you have your period. That’s when you- Yeah ... should be reading it. I’ll just- Yeah ... leave with,
What a great thing [00:35:00] just to make part...
And I, and I actually, I like this so much, I’m gonna say, like, if you’re a religious person or whatever like that, and you have, like, a religious school or something like that, can we advocate for making this a major part of the just
Simone Collins: telling- Yeah, ‘cause again, it’s not, it’s not all the... N- no,
Malcolm Collins: no Catholic or Protestant or Jew has ever convinced me, despite, like, presenting many, like, cohesive arguments of...
Like, this, this made me cry. You saw. I can’t help but cry, and this isn’t my first time reading it. You know, this isn’t, like, the initial shock. This is just me, like... And, and it had pr- pr- probably something to do with the fact that, like, I, I have been radicalized by pregnancy as well. But, like, just the, the impact this has had on her.
She, she writes “My grief has settled into a shape small enough to carry around the world. It goes with me to dinner and seems to like it when we take evening walks around the neighborhood. Sometimes when I know it won’t cause [00:36:00] too much trouble, I take it out and marvel at it. It’s heavier than it looks.
The weight of it on my chest enough to knock the breath out of me if I’m not prepared. Many nights, my grief unfurls and wraps w- its long tendrils around me. I wake sweating and tangled in my blankets, planets still bright in the sky. Soon enough it will learn to sleep through the night.” Like, she’s still suffering from it.
And I think she- Oh.
Simone Collins: Okay, okay. G, are you thirsty? Sorry, one moment here
Your bottle has disappeared.
Malcolm Collins: She, I think her story also adds weight to the techno-puritan sense that damage lies in, like, action-based inflection points, and less at, like, some definition of where life begins or where suffering begins, and this is where I, I’m also, like, moderating my views of, like, where the sin lies and where the damage is done.
She wrote, “I never quite understood regret. Should the [00:37:00] butterfly regret a flap of its wings upon learning of the resulting tornado? Still, as the shadow of loss looms over my days, I’ve started to think I probably would have been happier in this alternate lifeline, life timeline in which my grief would be balanced by purpose.
Whether this will feel true five years from now is harder to say. Perhaps one should wait to see what is built from the tornado’s wreckage before declaring regret. I find myself trying to calculate this likelihood, but quickly stop. I know now that some arithmetic belongs to older gods than reason.”
And so, She’s a really good writer
she has a kid now, right? She got... When did she give birth?
I d- I don’t know the exact date, but yeah, she has a kid, she has a kid now. She has a kid now. She’s gonna get married. She’s monogamous. This, this is a happy ending. Everything’s okay . And you’re like, “Oh my God.” I know, man.
But, like- But it’s important to remember that sex can lead to kids.
Ba- gang bangs can lead to kids, right? Like, everything that she’s participating in around something like this can [00:38:00] lead to a woman getting pregnant, and then having to well, either carry the kid to term or make a horrifying choice that could lead to this. And progressives aren’t really told, and I wasn’t really told when I was a kid, because I’m gonna be honest, Christians are cucking terrible at terrifying kids out of abortions.
They’re just like, “You’re murdering a human.” And I’m like, “It doesn’t have neurons.” Like, that is so uncompelling to somebody
who doesn’t have neurons. Yeah, I think that that’s a really, a big thing for me, too, is yeah, like, they keep being like, “It’s a human. It’s a human. It’s a human.” And I’m like, “Well, not...
Like, actually, no. Like, it’s, it, it doesn’t a brain yet. You know, like, it’s It’s like, mm, you know Like, yeah, I am
my thoughts, right? Like- Yeah ... fundamentally, I’m not really my body. I could lose any part of my body and I’m still 100% me. If I lost a part of my brain, I would be fractally me. I wouldn’t be fully me anymore. If my brain significantly changed, I would be a different version of myself.
Like, it [00:39:00] is our neurons, at least this is to me, a regular person. The reason why I’m laying this out is when you go to your kids, many of your kids are gonna think this way, and you go to your kids and you just say Abortion is bad. And, and again, even the lines they use don’t really work for them. “I knew you before you were in your mother’s womb.”
Well, that, that doesn’t imply that life begins immediately at conception. That actually implies something quite different, that either souls exist in heaven before ensoulment or God can see into the future, both of which do not imply that life begins at conception, right? You know, so, e- they would, they would imply other things, right?
And then, then, then the question becomes when does ensoulment happen and everything like that. What this has radicalized me on is it’s... There are still instances in which... And keep in mind, this is the vast minority of abortion. When people are like, “Abortion because of rape,” or something like that, is less than 1% of abortion cases.
That is not what people are fighting for. But I think it works to just [00:40:00] take that off the table. Just say, “Okay, let’s not say, ‘Okay, in the case of rape...’”
Or a, a non-viable, Or non-viable ... they... Well, I think it... So, so we have to... And, and like, think again. Things need to be parsed out, right? Like, there’s, there’s s- yeah, some of these really extreme cases.
There’s also, like, cases in which what we’re really discussing is euthanasia of a terminally ill human. It doesn’t matter, like... And this is where I’m like, I’m, I’m standing out. Oh, no, Simone loves euthanasia, and, like, I know a lot of you guys really hate the idea of euthanasia. But I, truly loving human life, human flourishing, and es- especially innocent babies personally would want the right to spare one of my children intense suffering and pain and a short life.
You know, if like, you know, hours of intense suffering and then death after carrying a pregnancy to term, like, I would rather euthanize that baby of ours. Like, personally. But I, I would say
that this has radicalized [00:41:00] me on general use of- Yeah ... of, of this. No.
No. Yeah, no. Like, before I was like, “Whatever, it’s a pill.
Like, take the pill. It’s, it’s a...” No, man. Like, I had no i- I had no idea. And, and recreational sex because- I mean, yeah, this is... People have told us, they’re like, “Oh, well, you know, misoprostol’s actually, like, a really intense medication.” And I’m like, “I don’t...” Like, yeah, but like, I know people who are like, “Ugh, I took antibiotics.
My tummy hurts.” Like, people, like, overreact. This is
what... And w- I think it’s not just on... This has radicalized me against recreational sex because this is what recreational sex leads to, right? I, I think- Yeah, like I
said, we think that non-procreative sex is a sin, and this is why. Like, well, many reasons, but this is another reason why
Yeah.
Speaker 7: Note here, I’m not talking about, , anything that couldn’t get you pregnant. For example, , oral sex or kinky sex, , where it’s just like leaning into the kink. And I think for that reason, I’m more pro that stuff than I was historically and more [00:42:00] anti-general vanilla, more boring sex. I see that as dramatically more immoral than the kinkiest of kinky stuff, , because the kinkiest of kinky stuff is just to get you off, whereas vanilla sex could accidentally get somebody pregnant
Speaker 8: And I’d even lay this down as a religious thing from our perspective, the techno Puritan perspective for those who actually follow our religion, , lean in to the kinky stuff, lean in to the erotic stuff, lean out of the generic boring sex stuff, because that’s the stuff that can lead to you accidentally having to being in a position where it might make sense for somebody to think about murdering a human being
Malcolm Collins: It is really first recreational sex doesn’t even feel that good. It’s like I, this is one of the biggest myths I wanna blow out of the table here. Look, this is apparently
my failure. It can feel very good. I guess I’m not doing my job here. Well, I have
had sex with, and again, like my backstory is I used to sleep around all the time.
I’ve had sex with well over 100 women, probably around [00:43:00] 160. If I like try to get it up, I, I think it, it, I mean, I remember I stopped counting and I think it was like 120 was the last time I did a full count, and I slept with quite a few people after that, so it must be quite a bit more than that. Did any of them ever get pregnant?
If they did, they never told me. But like I didn’t understand the, I just thought sex is sex. So again, this is not a Simone is bad thing, it’s that when you actually do it enough or you go around and sleep around enough, this isn’t a Simone... When I mentioned this on the Leaflet stream, everyone was like, in the comments, they were like, “Y- yeah, he’s right.
It’s just like not differentially that much better than masturbation.” You know, it’s, it’s, it’s fine. It’s, it’s maybe 250% better than masturbation. But like when you consider the- Oh, cost-benefit
analysis though, and that’s what’s so crazy is like there was that one section of her, her post where they’re like, well, you know, if we do like a weighted cost of plan B versus like misoprostol [00:44:00] or like an abortion, like $200 versus $50 but weighted for the odds.
Like they’re doing most of the calculation. They’re just not taking it the rest of the way there of like here’s the downside cost of having recreational sex versus, you know, like the benefit of it. Comp- contrast that to the downside cost of just masturbating. Yeah.
Yeah. This is why I’m like, this is why I’m so against people who push against masturbation.
If masturbation prevents recreational sex, masturbation is good when you consider the enormous downside of recreational sex which, which I think th- this really highlights. By the way, rfab.ai, our AI service, offers really great not safe for work image and video generation, as well as not safe for work storytelling and scenarios, so you can experience your craziest monster F her scenario, you crazy, horny women out there.
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Speaker 13: Oh, welcome. Oh, welcome
Speaker 11: A golem, huh?
Speaker 14: We recently had a fan reach out to us to be like, “Wow, you guys are always [00:46:00] talking about this RFAB thing, so I finally decided to try it.” And then they were like, “Well, and I ended up spending all day on it. It was a lot of fun.” , And, ,, they then said it was too easy, like the games, the game worlds always sort of worked for them.
So if that happens to you, on the site, use the ExoTop engine. , That engine is sort of like the anti-cheat engine. I don’t like it because I like cheating. I like the narrative going in the direction I choose to l-- You know, I, I sort of impose those limits on myself when I’m playing a scenario. But for the people who don’t like to impose that, the ExoTop engine, , narrative engine is the right one.
, Oh, and the recipe generator is really cool now. The super search feature is really cool. There’s just so many fun things you can try on the website. But the wider point here being is I’m not anti-eroticism. , Or we are not anti-eroticism. We are not anti-kink. We are not anti-, you know, getting your freak on.
What we are anti is the type of sex that can lead to an abortion. [00:47:00] This is evil, and I think that by drawing this distinction as a society, it is easier to convince kids that we are not telling them this because we are being fuddy-duddies, but we are telling them it because it is something that is true
You can be as dirty as you want, but sex is sinful
Malcolm Collins: Or what a guys want. A scenario where a woman loves and cares about you.
Oh my God
You know, a scenario where you s- where, where you rizz up your favorite online celebrity. You can just create a version of them and then use the internet search version of Grok, which none of the other sites have, and you can, you can talk to them on the...
No, but like, this hasn’t radicalized me into all of the conservative positions, but certainly against this. And I think with a lot of this stuff it’s like she didn’t even like the gang bang, right? Like Ayla didn’t even like the
story. Well, but no, no, no, no, no. I mean, ultimately the gang bang, I would say has, [00:48:00] has led to the production of at least one human life, Yes
and a marriage, and to, you know, a happy couple. Like, what, what, what better gift would you want from a gang bang? It’s, it’s beautiful. So You should, you should
reach out to her to be, like, in our network. She sounds sane and intelligent and like, I think our communities could be a good place for her.
‘Cause I, I bet she’s still completely surrounded by progressives, right? She doesn’t feel like- Well, she lives
in Berkeley.
Yeah, I mean Having the thoughts that she has, you know, be like, look, there’s a lot of us, sister. Like, join our community. Not, not, not for the sad part, but for the euphoric part of building civilization, right?
Well, you don’t know she’s not. She follows us on X, so maybe she already has.
Oh yeah, maybe she’s already in our community. I mean, I’ve met other women. See our EA to sex worker pipeline, where I felt so bad for some of the women in the EA space that just had their life ruined by this because they’re just like, “I thought that this is how you were cool as a woman is recreational sex.
I thought [00:49:00] that this was cool when I was in those communities.” And they didn’t realize how much it impacted the types of men who had settled down with them, right? And I think also seeing her conversion out of this, I think shows that for a lot of these people, it’s our failure, the conservative movement’s failure to communicate to them.
It is our failure that we- Well, it’s politicized too. Like, a lot of it’s the,
the radicalization of it. The, the, one of the reasons why people aren’t discussing the, the downside risk of taking this pathway is that it is so politicized. You don’t wanna give fodder to, like, I guess, rightist extremists who are gonna be like, “Exactly.
That’s why you can’t have, like, abortions.” You know, they’re gonna be intolerable if someone admits this. It’s a very third rail thing. And I don’t think she’s conservative, like, now suddenly
because of this. But no, what I’m saying is the way that the right, the way that the right communicates with people is just wrong.
It’s bad. It’s [00:50:00] bad at communication. It’s bad at communicating why abortion is bad. The, the, the words and logic that’s used fails at step one for a woman like this, and it is our responsibility ultimately. And people can say, like, “Why are we responsible and she’s not responsible?” We are responsible and she’s not responsible because I can’t control somebody else’s actions.
But I can control my actions, so it’s always useful for me to take personal responsibility, and I can influence a movement’s actions. I’m not influencing leftists. I’m influencing rightists. So I’m saying you, to the larger right-wing space that we influence, we do a bad job at communicating why these things are moral negatives.
And it’s good for us to look at a story like this and be like, imagine if it doesn’t work, because there’s an X percent chance that it doesn’t work. How are you going to feel, right? And then you have to go through with it, because you’ve [00:51:00] already ruined that child’s life. Well, I mean, you might decide that you don’t, and that’s a whole other scenario, but you have ruined the child’s life and you’re gonna have to live with that for the rest of your life.
That’s also horrifying. But like the moment you take this, like actually think through what this means. And more so, do that for casual sex more broadly. Think through the actual benefits you get out of it, and the actual negatives that could come downstream of this, and are you willing to take on this moral responsibility?
And it is wild to me that all these, quote-unquote, “effective altruists” are doing these orgies and everything like that without fully considering what this could mean for them as individuals. And I think we just fail to communicate to them, and I- I’m gonna do better to do that in the future. I’m trying to think, like, what’s the way to like sum this up?
Yeah, I think the way to sum this up is the way that I’ll be addressing abortion in the future is, what if you take the pill and it doesn’t [00:52:00] work? Like, talk me through how that feels. And then you get a crying baby like this little bastard. Look, he’s not even happy with his little toy. He’s trying to eat it monster.
Yeah, he’s... I, I need to f- his, his bottle rolled away. What’s he upset about? I, I think he... Well, he, he woke up hangry and I- his bottle fell and I can’t access it ‘cause I’m- Okay ... stuck to the microphone Well, I’ll let you go.
You did a spectacular job with this episode. It’s one of my favorites that we’ve done.
It’s one of my mo- It’s, it’s all
thanks to Romy. I just like, I... Well, I mean, you and I, we really like, we appreciate when our minds are changed, when we get better information. And as much as it hurt for me to, like, read this terrible experience I really, really appreciate getting information that gives me, that ma- that moves me in a slightly less wrong direction in life.
So. So you,
I love you, Malcolm
I love you too. I’m so glad that Tech survived. He was, yeah, really touch and go there, and almost died in the hospital [00:53:00] too.
Yeah.
Does he still have the big scar from where they put the thing in to help his lungs? Yeah.
Yeah. Th- you could... Yeah, it’s, I, I wonder if he’s just always gonna have that you can
see it.
I mean, even if he does, you know, quite a-
Yeah, makes you look kinda, kinda tough. Like-
Modern medicine saved me, you know? This is the world that we’re in. Let’s, let’s try to save it, okay? All of you guys, let’s try to save it. Yeah. Let’s do our best.
Simone Collins: Yeah.
Malcolm Collins: And this also just makes me reflect a lot more on communication.
We’ve gotta get better at communication, and delivering these messages to the right people at the right stages of their life. Mm. Not just to be a community afterwards. So let’s think about how we do that better.
Sounds good to me. All right. I’ll go start dinner. All right.
Love you, Simone.
Love you too.
Speaker 16: You gotta sneak up on him. Can you be sneaky?
I want that. You can do it, just be sneaky and patient, [00:54:00] okay? I can’t. Maybe I can help you. We’ll see. Can you help me please? Aw, thanks for asking them nicely. Let’s see what I can do to help.
Speaker 15: They love that bird that we put so much, so now they love it They do. I’m gonna see if I can hang it up, ‘cause now it’s just sitting on the ground. So look, Tex brought this string that he’s been holding onto, and we’re gonna try to use that to tie it up for them. What do you think? Yeah? Yeah, thanks, Indy.
Speaker 16: You’re gonna help me string it up, yeah? I’m trying to pull it. Okay. ‘Cause I’m pulling it up. Exactly.
